Things I Never Knew I'd Say

When contemplating becoming a parent almost 5 years ago, I think I probably thought I'd say things like "don't pick your nose." What I didn't anticipate saying was, "I'm not a Kleenex. Please don't wipe your boogers on me." I think I probably anticipated saying something like, "don't spit." I know for certain I never anticipated saying, "please don't lick the windows and then wipe them down with your blankies - it really doesn't actually clean the windows for me."

Tonight a new phrase came out of my mouth... one I could have never anticipated. Vince had a meeting tonight, so he was a bit late getting home, thus, the chaos of getting dinner on the table was a bit exaggerated because I had three small boys all vying for my attention while I was trying to make the last touches to dinner. I wasn't paying attention to the two oldest boys - all I heard was, "that funny mommy?" As I was cutting up chicken into non-choking sized pieces, dishing up the zucchini, and slicing the bread, I mindlessly commented, "uh huh." Clearly I wasn't paying attention, for when I turned around to take the plates to the table, I realized what, "that funny mommy" referred to... Asher was taking bites out of the butter. I never knew that as a mom, I'd have to say, "son, don't bite the butter."